The Audacity of Matt

Goodbye Susan Sarandon

2008-06-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

Hollywood has done it again. This time it is Susan Sarandon holding America hostage with the threat of leaving the country if John McCain is elected. Although this tried and true strategy almost changed the course of history once before, the question remains whether the "Baldwin Gambit" is still viable.

This made me think.........

Please , oh please, do not abandon
a country that needs you, Susan Sarandon.
For we would all be quite bereft
to lose you like Baldwin (oh wait, he never left)

Thank God for Rosie and Charlie Sheen too
For setting our compass and keeping us true.
The do so much more than just entertain.
They also look down on us with disdain.

Everyday Americans, too stupid to choose
Need your guidance lest the wrong person lose.
So Susan please tell us, so we don't go astray.
We'll elect who you want, if only you'll stay.

I AM AMERICA

2008-05-21T05:32:00.000-07:00

I am a man, I am white.

I tuck my kids in every night.

I am a woman, I am black.

My husband’s serving in Iraq.

I am America.

I am poor, I am young

And I have stories yet unsung.

I am rich, I am old.

I too, have stories yet untold.

I am America.

I am Christian. I pray each day

For my Lord to guide me on my way.

I am Jewish, my faith is strong.

My heart is filled with David’s song.

I am America.

Atheist, Christian, Muslim, Jew,

I am those, to name a few.

Poor and rich, white and black,

I live in a mansion, a trailer, a farm, a shack.

Man and woman, boy and girl

I hold my heart when I see the flag unfurl

For there is nowhere I would rather be.

I am America. I am free.

Ted Turner - Cannibalism

2008-05-19T17:57:00.000-07:00

Ted Turner, billionaire, social activist, and arguable nutcase recently made the following comments about global warming, overpopulation, and their possible effects.

"If steps aren't taken to stem global warming W.e'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow,"

He further elaborated with this.

"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals," said Turner, 69. "Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable."

This made me think............

So Teddy has a theory

That we all will die quite soon,

But don’t you dare dismiss him

As another left wing loon.

Sure, the planet’s almost burning

And the glaciers are no more,

But Teddy is a businessman

Who is looking for a score.

So please don’t just attribute this

To Teddy’s leftward lean,

Just check his stock portfolio

For shares of Soylent Green.